i am UBER TIRED TODAY!! and still gotta do hw.
oh well, typical secondary school student.
I have not completed my piano hw yet!! PFFT!
I am having piano lessons later.
oh ya
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DADDY!
I LOVE MY DADDY AND IS PROUD TO BE HIS DAUGHTER!
yeapee heehee.
went home and reached home at 7. 20PM today
gaffaws!

29th July
Normal Normal Class, blahhs.. Stayed in sch till 5 plus, then send Mel and CE and LP home, then went to eat ice cream.. Guess who i saw... Mr LEE HSIEN LOONG! (: WAHHSEHH! Anyway, went home to sleep straight away. Woke up at 4 am to chiong hwws!

30th July
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEIWEN
i love peiwen so much. my dearest ai ai ;)
at 4 am, i saw my messages. 6 message sia. then went on to reply them. then did homework. finished all of it. only one thing, NO PRINTER! pffts! I am like super tired then i slogged my guts out doing this then no printer. I rushed to school cos i was nearly late. ONCE AGAIN! pfft! I realised i forgot to bring my story book. so i was like looking for ppl to help. lucky dinesh came to the rescue! was super pissed in class, the whole day. who made me pissed was bound to be dead today. had fun fun fun in history i could say. then was like de stressed after wards cos LP CE AND MEL and I played with some kiddies ball till evening. DEAD TIRED! but worth it.

26th July.
CO-ed and then went back to slack at home. usually it would be time spent with him. anyway, went to tuition with liza. i learned my tingxie in 5 mins!!! oh well.

27th July.
Happy birthday to Syuhadah!
My super duper loving partner! aalthough we don't sit tgt now and are in seperate classes, I LOVEYOUUU!!!
went to church as usual, then went to east coast to skate with charmaine and her bfff. she wanted to make me smile de, but that poor girl, fall badly. I AM SORRY. i fell too, but not that bad. no obvious injuries. cos i break my fall with my phone (now badly scratched) and my butt (i think its bruised ba): we both flew off a slope(:
in the end go jetty and emo cos i see them so loving all these and i actually wanted to do all these with him. oh manns. went home after that anyway, she made me smile, together with louis. thanks guys..

28th July.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUICHING!
she's seventeen now now now! my senior in CO! very fun loving girl.. aww! *hugs!
today my mood abit emo la. so may have hurt ppl in what i've said. sorry lahhs people. thanks for the strawberries dinesh,(: today really thinking of him lahh.s i can say i'm really pathetic these few days la. lying on my big teddy bearing hoping to hear a heartbeat. as if i can. really want u here by my side. went to the old folks home. fun lahh. but still thinking of you as i entertained the old ppl. after that, went back to school and tried to dance with diana and muhaimin an chinsin and mel, and lp and CE. then ate ice cream and went home

Its like around 12.45 now and i am staying up late. to do the STUPID PROPOSAL with no freaking idea how the proposal looks like. PFFT! and i am still very sad. Here i am trying to take the pain and what do you do? Suddenly strike a conversation with a freaking weird start and when i ask what is that for, u freakingly tell me that i got it all wrong. Then on the msn dp, show me some pic that will make me feel even more sad.

This proposal better be good, I'm doing it with the last bit of energy i have and all the tears from my eyes.

Singapore got kind soul de. I knew it.

Thankyou Zona and Siwen(:

Hilary is so dumb! Why are you so dumb?
Once again, it is raining. My feelings is SO like the rain now. At least its got a teeny weeny bit better. Today was so thinking about him la. He told me he wanna stay single for awhile. I was like sian-ed. Hey hilary, think of the bright side lahhs. U can concentrate on your studies. He wanted a T.O., so i let him be. but i told him to come back on our 8th month. he said see first. This is a sure NO. Its so obvious. Relax hilary. U can do it! Or is it God's will? I don't know la!! But i really love him. many many. Oh well, studies more important. No need to be distracted in school because of this matter. I really don't know what is in his mind la. He tell me he is stressed because of me. I was super sian'ed what did i do? grrrrrgh! forget it la hilary. just be patient. It will be better in time(leona lewis). Let's just pray that he will ace in what ever he do la. May God bless him. Oh well, let's see how things go for him. Lol. Hope that he knows that i really love him many and will support him. Even though he hurt me many times. Without fail. Without an apology.I LOVE HIM. BUT DOES HE EVEN CARE? Just finished lit and Chem studies! YAYNESS la! now must finish some proposal. midnight oil for a proposal? oh well. fine

toodles!

I'm back early today. Usually i should be with him, enjoying every second with him right now. I'm really very teary right now.I wonder what is seriously wrong once again. Does'nt he even know how i feel? He once said to me, i can feel what you feel. Is this feeling what i feel? Unless my agony is his happiness. I loveeeee him. but he said i am stressing him too much. Why must the problem be me? Why me? Argh!!!! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I feeling super !@#$%@#!@#$. If it wasnt for mel and my schoolmates, i would have died.

argh~ Still no progress at all? Oh man! I feel uber sad man! Why doesn't he care? This can't last forever. This hurt me many ytd, well, i'll just relate to you readers;

Ok, Let's say this birthday was like made fun because of my family and friends. If not this will be like such an ordinary day. Haha. got up early to see 15 messages saying happy birthday just brightens up my day by a TON!

Went to school uber early today, saw audrey. Thank you so much lahhs!!! First thing. Then i was like smsing weiheng on the way saying how old i was etc, looking at the phone anxiously waiting for his reply. Really saddening la. At the parade square i wanna thank all those who wish me happy birthday! heehee. then boring old lessons as usual, and me looking at my phone from time to time waiting for his sms. Mel told me maybe it was him trying to surprise me. So i anxiously waited. and waited and waited. actually i wanted to leave this time with him, but apparently, he did not even bother me a single bit. oh well, i went for the council meeting then the sec 3 sing happy birthday to me YAYNESS la.

Then i actually cried cos i was waiting for his sms and when i called him some little boy answered. i think he really purposely did that. I was like kinda blue luhhs. Then luckily there was this kind soul called melody chan, kenneth tan and eugene low who waited for me for 1 hr 45 mins cos i had meeting and eugene treated me to an ice cream at scoopz. really love these guys man. try to divert my bluse, however, they failed, i still went home as sad as ever, hence i decided to try to forget him. by taking a super long bath and read the bible hoping that God's words can relieve me of this nightmare.

Then i cried again after trying to call him. he is really very evil. Purposely making me feel this way. Its so OBVIOUS cant you see? I am not stupid you know, So i throw my pirde away *bye pride and went to make the 2nd move. i made the first move ytd(: but that perrson just would'nt care. my family celebrated my birthday then, eating a big feast. I tried to hide the gloomy face anyways. so now i am sitting here, waiting for some miracle to happen.

Sometimes i feel like a dog, really, must i stoop to this level to make him happy? You decide guys. I did'nt know his sister ZONA was more important then me, just 5 mins won't hurt right? I really do not wanna feel any hate or jealousy now, but please don't make me feel that.

and i have not blogged for like 10 days? let's see what went on for the past few days! ;D
12th July!
Had that Jubilee thing at west mall, and i was like the emcee tgt with tharani and irwin, Fun fun with them man! Then saw many ppl there, after it ended, told mummy i'll get going first and went to yz's house eventually cos mel lp ce and aud too far for flag day. Then went to imm to wait for wh to go tuition tgt with waikit. Then we were like so called late and then we jump railing and wk got stuck!!! on the 13th went to church as usual, then went to yz's cuzzie's hse and slacked there. on the 14th had school. 15th HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIYAN! 16th. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEILING! on 19 had that CO. then it was kinda tense in the morning, eventually i was satisfied somehow then its time to CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY, although it is not the actual day <3>20th JULY HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAWEN! I went to church as usual, but met up with sheryl, belinda, benedict and gerald for mass, then had some prison talk where i was like smsing ppl, then after that went out with the lovely church peeps and charmaine's friend. Had a swell time, at least, trying to forget the sadness.

I really feel a squeeze in my heart now. can't believe he can be so harsh to me. I dont know why.. am i giving in too much? Maybe yea. Its like we're both in the wrong and i'll end the stupid thing. But he is really really making me sad. Sadness luhh! I so LOOVEEEE him, but why can't he? He scolds me for finding fault with his gan mei mei, is it wrong to see him for just 5 mins. he has 24 hours!! Not heven like 1/2 of the time la. Now he is like treating me so badly. I'm still holding on. He is like spoiling my birthday. wanted him to celebrate my birthday with me. this is total sadness la):

ANYWAY, LETS JUST PRAY THAT everything will go out fine for me tmr. and and and i really wanna thank those who give me presents!! LIPING, CHINEE, MELODY, BELINDA, CHARMAINE, GABRIEL
and and and: I'll look forward to my continued celebrations!! haha
- With mel, liping, chinee
- With Church peeps
- With primary school peeps
- With my dear, yizhan
- With Daniel and the rest
- With waikit and his sponsor (maybe)
- With edric (CAKE!)
- With sze mun (maybe)

I LOVE SURPRISES! HAPPY RACIAL HARMONY DAY IN ADVANCE!
time to make friends with the other races! that includes the bangalas downstairs!

heh heh heh.
youth day on monday. heh heh heh
went to do hw with lp and mel. end up completing nothing. however, time was enjoyed and cherished ;D dragged myself to schools and stuffs.
however, this few days was like WOW for me! haha got scolded by teachers etc. and was not really that happy abt some incidents today abt the announcement things. but its ok, i'm not mad anymore. ;D today had emcee prac till 7! wow! haha tmr will be at west mall. 1pm (: supporters come please! haha! i'll be more than happy to see u guys!
toodles! doing some ask n learn stuffs, bye!!

fourth july two thousand and seven(:
I had a mixed emotions day today. I was happy when school ended. rawrs.
then go met up with wh and yz. at first i was ecstatic upon seeing them. however, there were some stupid disputes. its like both of us are in the wrong. *later wh say we all guai pi again*
oh wells,i dunno him la. its like he gets angry with me rather then wh. then when i confront him abt it, he will not be happy with me. i'm like so sad and then like kinda pissed off la. so i called him. i was trying to get my message across and then close the case and back to normal. however, i may have gotton too carried away and he yelled at me and then slammed on me. *sobby.
after that, i went to school with juliana. lucky there was her. *i love youu juli!! pidikum? then we practiced for the speech day thing with irwin. this is when the nervousness kicks in. finally the time came for us to emcee. my heart was beating so hard that i could hardly heat myself think. therefore, i tried to calm myself down by calling that dearest yz. i was prepared to leave everything as the past. but somehow or rather, he gave me the wrong signal or something. he slammed on me AGAIN!
thats so sad la. but i managed to keep my feelings of melancholy and anxiety back by swirling around at the back of the hall and jumping and moving around. then the guest of honour came. haha. beating beating and beating hard. i could hardly hear myself thinking. when it was my turn, i was trembling, but after a few times, i got used to it and stopped it. (hey, i actually enjoyed myself, putting the sorrows at the back of my mind) after the whole thing came to an end, the key to the back of my mind opened itself. and the sorrows and sadness came back. so i tried to call him, but he made a fool of everything. sobs. i really don't know what to say about this guy. here i am trying to suppress all my nonsense mind set and he is like opening it even more. i tried to give in to him, but he would'nt budge like a door that refuses to open. maybe his darling sister zona and wei heng has the key to make him happy. *jiu kao ni le! now i really hope that he can get back to me. i really wish he can make his heart turn more forgiving. he always like to do this to me, its like he purposely do it. hmms. this is so sad la. like one day we were the closest however, the next day he hates me. i thought he could be there to suppress my anxiety and fear of the crowd, but he instead did not care. i wonder does he even care. if he does, he'll somehow get to me or contact me. where is it i ask you? where? *gaffaws. i really cant stand it. he's driving me nuts. just say a simple sorry and put the past where it belongs. is it that difficult?! i ask you is it that difficult?!?!
oh well, i'll have to suppress all my anxiety and melancholy tmr again. hope my jiaxiangs can help me. love them loads. i love you. but where are you?

on the first of july, i wanna wish poh chong

Hello Earthlings, my name is S.Hilary Ma :D
I invaded your planet on the twenty first of july :D
I love my creator, his son, and the holy spirit :D
I've graduated from Boon Lay Secondary School :D
I am Dynamic, Delirious, Delicious, Dangerous, Daring, Different :D
I love attacking humans with my music, the piano :D

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength Nehe 8:10

The O levels are finally over, now what? Many complained that they are bored, but i compiled a list of random things to do so that i would be occupied. I decided to share it with you guys!


1.Reorganize my wardrobe
2.Clear the soft toys and reorganize sleeping area
3.Clear clutter from the study table and remove unwanted books
4.Reorganize my shelves
5.Do some gardening
6.Get flight tickets to anywhere
7.Run everyday
8.Swim once a week
9.Look for ways to get extra cash
10.Go ice skating
11.Go inline skating
12.Learn beginner's guitar
13.Finish learning Grade 8 scales
14.Finish playing the first Grade 8 song
15.Piano Duet with someone
16.Write a book
17.Write a poem
18.Bake cookies and cakes
19.Cook Teriyaki Chicken for Nova
20.Visit an orphanage
21.Learn how to cook from grandmother
22.Take part in a church event
23.Memorize sequence of the bible
24.Read SYM
25.Watch a movie
26.Call Sec sch mates out
27.Call Pri sch mates out
28.Call YM mates out
29.Shout really loud in a mall
30.Play Pool
31.Arcade!
32.Start on CW
33.Share the good news with at least 5 people
34.Praise and worship more often
35.Learn more praise and worship
36.Eat healthily
37.Laugh really loud somewhere
38.Enjoy nature
39.Smile at a toddler
40.Smile at an elderly person